"Do you think that God will not judge and condemn others for doing them and not judge you when you do them, too? Don't you realize how kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Or don't you care? Can't you see how kind he has been in giving you time to turn from your sin?" Romans 2:3-4

I've been reading my favorite author, C.S Lewis, again, and he never ceases to make me question how I act, or rather think, for what are actions that aren't thought, well then they are merely reflexes by definition. This recent discovery is found in his book entitled, "The Problem of Pain". The book addresses the issue revolving around the question, "If God is a good God, then why does he allow all the pain in this world?" Being the genius that he is, he addresses this issue in a full-proof way, first explaining that we created sin and pain is just a correction of that sin. If you haven't read it, of course I recommend it.

He addresses one issue that really got my brain to thinking. Do we really want a more loving God or a less loving God. At first glance it is a no-brainer, of course we want a God that loves us more, then we wouldn't have all of these troubles, but in fact it would be the opposite, for as Lewis so cleverly explains, that we are God's work of art, as has been said since I was a 'wee boy'. He provides this analogy: if an artist were to draw a sketch for a child just for the child's pure amusement he would not take the time to make sure it is exactly how he intended the sketch to be, in other words, he would let the imperfections slide. For this next section I must take from the master himself, "But over the great picture of his life - the work which he loves, though in a different fashion, as intensely as a man loves a woman or a mother a child - he will take endless trouble - and would, doubtless, thereby give endless trouble to the picture if it were sentient. One can imagine a sentient picture, after being rubbed and scraped and recommenced for the tenth time, wishing that it were only a thumbnail sketch whose making was over in a minute. In the same way, it is natural for us to wish that God had designed for us a less glorious and less arduous destiny; but then we are wishing not for more love but for less." Therefore, when the secular world asks, "if God really cared about us, why would he allow all this pain" we can now throw them on a roller coaster, first explaining that we are indeed the one's who fell, then this extremely clear analogy.

I wish sometimes, that I were the designer of my future. That I could have the jobs of the Fates for one day, to weave, to me, what would be a perfect life, but then I look back on all that I have planned before, and realize how twisted a life that really would be. I am not an extravagant person, I do not wish for things to be off the wall or bizarre, I tend to like the classical things, a white picket fence if you will. However, even with a conservative view like that my "dream life" would in fact not be. I now realize - likely with the coming of age - that since life, and particularly, our minds change so much, what was the ideal life for me, but 3 months ago, would have been vastly different than my view of it now. So now, here is my conundrum: are we to plan the future to our avail, or are we to not plan and take everything as it comes? The latter seems the more foolish, for then you are not preparing yourself for what may come your way, ergo that option is tossed in the round file. The former option seems ideal, but only if we keep our plans for the future viscous; almost like a building being founded on rollers in case of an earthquake, for the one built on the rollers will be able to survive, whereas the one without will fall.